I am drunk

Star date: August 16th, 1:32 am, 2007

Here I sit, in my empty room, thinking deeply about how I will be heading to Vietnam for the next six months of my life. The lack of furniture and of my own personal belongings in what was once my personal abode remind me of the void-like feeling that surrounds me: where am I going, where am I coming from, who am I and what will I become? I am nothing and everything all at once, I am the culmination of every instant I've ever lived, and yet I am ready to be so much more.

My last moments in Canada have been quite contemplative, as I've attempted to spend them with those who mean the most to me. They include my best friend in the entire world, Mai; my brother, who not only possessses so much potential, but has so much knowledge and wondrous youth that he inspires me by just being himself, Matthew; my all time favorite professor, who, despite being years ahead of me in intelligence and academic prowess, always finds the time to talk and philosophize on life and on living, Keith; my roomate and long time friend, who, no matter what, will always remain loyal and true to me, and himself, Kyle; and many others. I can't help but be myself with these people, those who mean the msot to me, because it is with them that I am forced out of my shell, to reveal the face behind the so called mask which hides my true self.

I am fortunate to have these people in my life, and as I look forward to this Friday, August 17th, when I will depart from this world and land into another, I undoubtedly be constantly reminded of how fortunate I am to have them and to have been given the opportunity to know myself more through them.

I am sad. I am excited. I am scared. I am enthusiastic. I am nervous, and anxious, and somewhat terrified... but I am so ready to be challenged by Vietnam and its culture. I cannot wait but to be electrified by its undeniable current, to catch its own cultural bug, and to be exposed to so much life in such a short period of time. I am ready to grow, to learn, and not for an instant will I presume my presence to be worth more than it is. I know that I am simply going to be working for an HIV/AIDS clinic, and not the other way around. I can only give what I take away, and I hope to take away as much as possible.

The flight: omg, I'm scared. nearly 30 hours of travel time. I have to go through the USA. I look like a terrorist, but am simply a poor mixed child who happened to take on the look for a Persian when really I'm just some french catholic/Guyanese kid from the middle of nowhere new brunswick. I hope I don't get harassed, I never enjoyed that and never will. Those bastards always judged me, and never gave me the benefit of the doubt.... Who knows what will happen? I'm sure to write about it though, sometime soon.


Okay, well, it's 1:44, time for sleep. Hopefully I'll dream of making it past airport security without any hangups or problems. I can only hope that I will dream of wonderful experiences and chances to learn and grow while in the Socialist Republic of Vietnam. And finally, I hope to allow myself the chance to relax, to rest, and for my mind to soak in all the potential wonders of living in a different world.

Goodnight, world.

nk